Prerna- Ch 1

Friends,
Hold your breath or faint: I got a call from Her Highness- the delectable "Prerna".
It was an hour past midnight- around 1:15 AM. I was in my sleep-mode and my phone in silent-mode. I was in no mood to get up from my bed. (Let me make one  thing pretty clear- before you embark with me in my journey. I love "Sleeping" and am very possessive about it. I kinda hate getting up early in the morning, and above all, I get irritated to the hilt, when somebody disturbs me from my sleep.) But that day was special. Infact very special.
It was an unknown number- complicated enough to comprehend whose number it was.
I reluctantly answered the phone.
'Hello, am I speaking with Romi?'- a sweet voice came from the other end?
"In a split second, I jumped off my bed- not believing my senses. It was for the first time a girl was calling me- and that too, in the middle of the night. I was definitely happy. I could sense that it was her voice. (My Prerna's voice- remember "the love-at-first-sight girl" I mentioned) But still, as if I was completely oblivious- as if I never heard her voice- I asked in a pretty gruff tone-
"Yes, it is me. May I know who is it?"
'Well, its- (shy smile). Okay, make a guess. You know me, you have seen me a couple of times and yes- you love staring at me'- came the answer.
Now, this was the height. I was feeling embarrassing. By any chance,this wasn't the right way to begin a conversation with a stranger- or at least an acquaintance.I didn't feel like talking to her. I was feeling damn sleepy and was in not in a position to play the "guess-who-am-I" game!
"Spare the puzzle for the next time Ma'm. I am in no mood to solve this one right now. I am in deep sleep and  would you mind calling me tomorrow"- By then I was getting irritated (now, why was that- I still do not know).
'Hello Romi- please do not disconnect. I want to speak with you. Please don't mind. By the way, its Prerna'.
That was the end to my temper. God! loved that sweet and soft voice. Could literally see her sitting beside me and talking to me. And then again, there were too many 'please' in her sentences. Felt sorry for misbehaving with her. To change the topic of our conversation, I asked- "So, how are you Prerna? Is everything fine?"
'Yeah- I guess so. I needed to speak with you for a while-if you don't mind. I know it is really late, but still, if it is okay with you- can we talk for a few minutes?'
"Sure- no issues. Please go ahead. I remarked. I could sense a feeling a numbness in my feet accompanied by a churning in my stomach. This was evident from the shivering in my voice. I was nervous- and happy at the same time- but had no clue of what I was going to talk.
'So...(big pause).. whats up? How is life?'
"This wasn't happening. Not at all. Is this the way a conversation should begin- I asked myself. We met each other a few hours back. And to make matters worse- frankly speaking I don't like these modern day slangs like "what's up" and "how is life". I go blank and most of the times can't decide what the other person is referring to and what am I supposed to reply. But now, there was no option but  to answer.
"Yeah, I am fine. Things are going on well- at least as of now. How about you?"- I replied.
'So..(another big pause- this time it was bigger than the previous one)'
"So..... you tell me"- I retorted. By then, the conversation had started to pall- I was getting disinterested. Wanted to cut it short.(read- disconnect the phone).
'Do you ever feel lonely? Do you ever feel abandoned? Do you ever feel like your life is worthless? Do you ever feel like putting a full-stop to your life?- she shot an array of questions which put  me in a state of  fix. I had no idea of the reason why she was referring her life to be worthless and what role was I supposed to play in that drama? I didn't even know her from a personal front and by no means,(I think) was the right person to be discussed about such serious issues. I was flummoxed for some time and then replied-
"Why do you feel so lonely? Why do you think that you are worthless? And by the way, sorry to say- but- ending your life will not put an end to your tensions. You may get rid of your life- but others, your parents- your kith and kin- will have to pay a heavy toll of price for it. Every problem has got a solution. Why shouldn't we try and find the best option available."- I said with confidence and yes- conviction too.

I began- "See Prerna, each and every person has to go through some mental torture and heart-breaking tumults at one or the other stages of his/her own life. The definition and the degree of this tension- this frustration- varies from person to person- and even for the same individual- it varies from time to time. Human life is full of ups and downs- success and failures. This is the subtle truth- the universal truth. And please remember- there are no Failures- there are mere Set Backs- which can be overcome by dint of hard work, perseverance and patience. Trust me, everything will be fine very soon. And for Christ sake, please do not have these sort of filthy thoughts in your mind. You have been born for a cause- ensure that it is fulfilled before you leave this planet"- I said at one breath, still not having of what and why I said.
But- it worked. It certainly worked.
She was silent for a long time, and at last she replied- 'Thanks a lot Romi. You really made me feel better. Good night. Shall see you tomorrow. Take care. And yes, thanks again.'
"Mention not Prerna. Feel free to call me anytime (why the hell did I say that). It was nice speaking with you. And yes, please keep smiling. You can't imagine how beautiful you look when you smile. (God,it is getting too much. Why do I behave like a despo?) Good night. Take care."

Conclusion: 
-She is a pretty bold girl to give me a call at 1:15A.M 
  (when we barely know each other)
- At present, she longs fro reclusion; has negative thoughts in her mind.
- Her simplicity is deceptive. (Has a lot of things hidden inside her)
- I am a nut in talking to girls, but today- how could I talk to her so sensibly, so confidently? I patted myself and said- "Nice one Romi. Good job. Get going"
- If instincts are to be trusted, I must say that I feel as if she will definitely call me again. Lets see what is in the pipeline. Have to keep my fingers crossed till then.
To be continued......

Welcome to Hell- Ch III

Hi Folks,
Extremely sorry for not keeping you updated about our journey in Hell. Well, from now onwards, I shall make sure that I do not forget to give you tit-bits of the major activities taking place at Hell. By then, Nitin's training was kind of everyday affair for us. Though he filled our minds with numerous stuff about the process, making the optimum use of the projector, reducing our break intakes et al. But that did not deter him from allowing us to have fun during our work. Some new games had replaced the old. "Swapping chairs" and "Coffee pot" were the flare of the season. Nitin was a sport in real sense. He never let the so-called hierarchy concept creep between us. Though he was senior to all of us as far as job profile was taken into account, we always considered him more of a close friend than a trainer. It was a few days back (forgive me for I can not recollect the dates) that something special happened. Our brains had been tired because of exceedingly low glucose levels.Not to tire the readers, in simple terms, we were feeling "Boring". And so, somebody from our batch gave an idea of playing "Swapping chairs". For those individuals who do not know what this game is all about, I must say that it is real fun to play it. However, it can sound to be risky at times. It was during this game that I could catch a glimpse (rather- pay some more attention to the members of the opposite sex). I feel as if it is my moral responsibilities to introduce you all to a few more characters to this story in Hell. I am sure, it might sound confusing and a gargantuan task to remember each and everybody's name. But can't help it. Seriously. Because, in this phase, I will introduce you all to a few promising actors, who have a greater chance to be the leading heroine of our forthcoming endeavor. (in the journey of Hell) After all, we never know what future has in store for us- right? Anyways, let us get back to the formal introductions so as to sustain your interest in this story.

First things first. (Can't even dare to miss her name. Forget about that!! She will kill me if she doesn't find her name in the first. Well, jokes apart for a while). At one instant, I could see her sitting next on the chair next to me. She was laughing- almost like a crazy girl. The very first thing that fascinated me were her cute dimples. God! I thought to myself- I had never seen a girl with dimples, sitting next to me and smiling. Some unidentified character in the game called her. I realized that her name was "Riya". Yes, you got it right. The magic had just begun and I was enjoying it full throttle. Her long hair earned her an extra brownie point. When I say "Long", I really mean it. She was short in stature, of thin frame- but her dimples, her long unfurled hair, her sweet, innocent smile- everything added an inch to her charisma. She had a unique magnetism in her voice. She was soft spoken and the only conversation we had was when she looked at me and said in her usual fun-filled soft voice- "Excuse me".That was it. Dressed in an off-white salwar kameez with a printed red dupatta, she looked stunning. She was pretty- no doubt about that- her visage was that rare combination of innocence and sensuousness. Loose hair, no make-up and lovely dimples- that was enough to make her look subtle and sexy. I could say that she had the capacity to carry her beauty so subtly that it could sweep anybody off their feet. The best part was that she was energetic to the core and full of sparkling humor. I guess, she would have made hundreds of dil go dhak-dhak during her college days, simply to get a glimpse of those dimpled smile. (God! did I say that? No body heard it--right?)


I was perplexed for a split second. You know how guys are. As soon as they get a glimpse of any beautiful girl in the vicinity, they have their thirty-year-future plans done in a nanosecond. And I was no exception. There were too many choices and too less time for me to fix my target. Looking around, I could see 7-8 girls, many of them were eminently suitable for me. Very soon, my mind changed its course of direction. Some years back, one of my engineering batch-mates gave me a funda about how to attract girls of Bangalore. According to him, what one had to have the endearing mix of impishness and urbanity- sometimes, a hint of mischief mixed with intelligence worked magic.


I though to myself- "what would be their perfect-man be like?" Tall, dark and handsome- or sweet and cute. Nay!! he should have an irresistible sense of humor and a rock-solid family man status. Besides, if he has a raw and vulnerable sex appeal- he would have an edge over others. Alas!! it seemed as if I had literally lost the game before it was even played. All my plans were a ridiculous fiasco in toto, before being brought into fruition.(Alas! if I ever had even one of these qualities) I was sad- definitely senti - till I was interrupted my our trainer.I was brought back from my thoughts.


The game gathered momentum. During the course of time, I came to know about few other persons, with whom, in due course of time I bonded up pretty well. To begin with, there was a lady named "Julliane"- who upon interaction made me realize how difficult it was to manage personal and professional life at the same time. She was well-cultured and always wore a dazzling smile on her face. There were guys like"Jack"- who was a professional drummer and base guitar player, "Lez"- who was a keyboard player. Both Jack and Lez used to play for the "Symphony Band". It would be really great to be with these guys- so much of talented bunch- endless opportunities to hone up my skills.Then, there was the happy-go-lucky chap "Sanjay"- who had a terrific sense of humor. The commonest feature that all of us shared was the love for "Sutta"- yeah! all of them, including me were chain smokers. We made sure that we had our quota of nicotine at every possible opportunity (read- "breaks")where we would gather and share our ideas, plans, apprehensions and concerns.


Sorry folks, how did I miss her? "Neha"- the name was enough to describe her. Extremely down-to-earth by nature and her million dollar infectious smile was sufficient enough to make me feel for her. She was sportive- at times shy- but the best part in her persona was that she always enjoyed my company. (I still wonder how she managed to?) In no time, we bonded pretty well and she was candid enough to confide a lot about her college days, the fun she had bunking classes, the exam-backlogs and the difficulty with which she cleared them and stuff like that. In the end, I had a very positive opinion about her.


Well, as some great men said that- "It has been observed by wise men or women, I forget which, that all persons are doomed to fall at least once in their lives. No particular season is, as I remember, assigned for this." To give a bit of my mind, I'ld say that I feared that my heart was going to be irretrievably lost before I suspected that it was in danger. But, as a matter of fact, I was mentally prepared to face any circumstance (if at all, any). To be continued....

Welcome to Hell- Ch II

Hi Folks,

Welcome back to the land of Hell. Jog up your memory cells and please do not get your knotty minds into a tangle. Days passed in a jiffy and soon came to an end. We made the optimum use of time (by taking maximum number of breaks and engaging in fun activities as much as possible). Raj's methodology of teaching was entirely different. He believed in the concept of  having fun and learning side by side. We all admired him a lot. Looking at the positive aspect, it worked as a great platform to show-case our talents. Whenever we felt exhausted with the training, we made Shristi and Mrinal to dance. As soon as the music started, they were accompanied by John, Sandy and Ryan. It was complete fun- and almost each of us would burst into laughter seeing the DJing of Sandy, the expressions and body movements of Ryan and the steps of Shristi and Mrinal. John had mastered a few steps of maestro MJ and left no stone unturned to show-case his dancing skills. Sometimes (on public demand), he was made to do a few steps of Kathakali- which I believe was a great move. Several times before, I had heard that dancing creates an aura of smiles (read- laughter), but it was not until then, that I realized it. Oops! Sorry, I forgot to mention about Snehali. Being a trained classical dancer, she was the face of the batch. The expressions she carried, her steps, her movements-- are beyond the power of superlatives to describe. Sometimes, we played absurd, illogical games like "Hot Seat", "Honey I love you", et all- but believe me- it was real fun.

During the training, two persons parted off with Hell and waved us a final good-bye. Whether they found a better place that promised an exponential career growth or they were frustrated with the batch will always be a puzzle for me. Anyways, the bottom line is that- " during these days, I had made quite a couple of good friends with whom I could talk whenever I felt bored. However, the only condition was that I had to wear that artificial smile on my face in order to escape their array of questions regarding my personal life. As long as I was smiling, they were fine with me- but days on which I tried to be myself, proved to be a boomerang for me. In no time, I would be surrounded by my colleagues inquiring if everything was fine with me or not.Finally, the D-day came. We had our Assessment done and most of us cleared it.

It was the 6th of September. (Pardon me, for I amn't sure of the dates. I have really a bad memory and can't help it. Some say it's manufacturing defect, some say it is because of the aftermath of the consequences I faced, but I never believe it. Anyways, let us get back to the story lest you lose your interest.)
The timing for our training had changed. It was from midnight 1AM to 9AM. To make matters worse, the venue was also shifted to a different place. All of us gathered on time. We were waiting inside the training room for our trainer. 


Knock, Knock!!. There he was- a slim guy in his mid twenties, with a stripe-shirt and black trousers entering the room. The striking feature of his look was his hair-cut. As far his hair-style was concerned, he belonged to an entirely different school of thought. Before meeting Nitin (yes, he is the guy we are talking about), I had a notion that when it came to style quotient for men, hair-styles usually occupied the back seat. I believed that men (in general) gave ample attention to clothes, accessories and of course, shoes. But Nitin proved me wrong. The spiky hair-cut was his trademark. Usually, it either looks funny or wild, but I don't know why I felt as if it suited him. Now, what gel did he use to get his hair spiked will always be an enigma for me.(after all these are beauty secrets and should never be revealed.). Well, jokes apart for a while.


Our entire batch were in no mood to study. We agreed to play a game known as "Hot Seat". (Now, for guys, who are not aware of the game, let me tell you that the above mentioned game is a really risky game. The person is made to sit at the center of the room, and is being bombarded by an array of questions from all others. It needs guts to play the game). Coming back, while playing the game, we got a better insight of our trainer Nitin. He was a pretty emotional guy- but at the same time, he was friendly and fun-loving. The unusual shift timing was a bitter pill to swallow for all of us. Very soon people started dozing off. Nitin was considerate enough to leave us back home well-before the shift got over.


Three days passed-off in a jiffy. By then, we all had started admiring him. His training style was absolutely different (but we liked it). He always made sure that each of us was thorough with the basics. We were joined by a different batch which comprised of 12-13 members. (It would be great! I thought to myself.)
(Hey folks! I am sure that the story isn't gathering pace and is becoming boring for you to read. You wont believe- even I am having a similar feeling.) 


And from that particular day, my life took a different turn. Do you want to know how? Let me tell you.
Well, elements vary, but the essence of the story goes on. You might have read or heard innumerable stuff and imagined countless stuff celebrating ostentatiously the arrival of the actress on screen. Strong winds tend to blow-- thunderstorm strikes-- the romantic music of the saxophone is played at the backdrop-- the heart pounds  at a faster pace-- the body temperature soars high and you feel a churning in your stomach.


Hard-core intellectuals pen down lyrics heralding the descending of the divine on earth. The use of incomprehensible stuff (read- jargons) in their writing pose as a hindrance to actually understand- or rather feel their imagination. But forgive me folks, I've neither the ability nor the intention to make any such formidable expressions. Thanks to my limited vocabulary and of course, not to forget- my least creative mind.
Believe me, I don't get words to express myself. 
God!! she looked amazing-- absolutely stunning. As I saw her for the first time, a feeling of infinite happiness, infinite relief and heart-felt satisfaction flooded through me. Zillion times before had I heard about the age-old phenomenon of "Love at first sight"- but it was only a few days before that I could literally feel the truth in the above mentioned phenomenon. (Before you assume and become judgmental, let me confess that I amn't still quite sure whether it is "love" or not-- but yeah, it isn't infatuation or lust by any chance.)
The training room was half-full or half-empty- depending on whichever school of thought you belong to. Seeing her entering the room with a benign smile on her face made me completely lost, enraptured, mesmerized (please excuse my grammar) and what not by her looks. I could feel a numbness in my feet. The perfume she had wore added to her charisma. Donned  in a leaf-green colored salwar-kameez with a small bindi (which was too difficult to notice owing to its size) and matching sandals, there she was- sitting on the chair opposite to me on the other side of the table.


She looked to be a slim girl but rather inclining to be tall. Her nicely combed hair was brownish and luxuriant and added an inch to her beauty. Her eye-brows were even and arched and beyond the power of art to imitate. Her nose was exactly regular and her mouth- in which were two rows of ivory-- made it almost difficult for me to take my eyes away from her. Her thin lips were rosy- rather pink in color and for a nano-second, I felt like kissing them. (God! did I say that?)


Very soon I was disturbed from my thoughts by my trainer. He looked at me and gave me a smile. Whether he caught me red-handed staring at her or not (by the way- her name is "Prerna")- I still don't know. But I hated it to the core as I was disturbed from my thoughts. We began with our usual training and my colleagues (as usual) were soon engaged in making important notes and clarifying doubts about the process. I was in no mood to pay attention to his "Fundaas" and "Usual Gyaan". I was engrossed in my own thoughts, my own imagination and was scribbling a few lines for her in my notepad which read like:


"Share a thought of love with me and be a part of my life,
Keep that twinkle on your eyes that make me fall for you today,
Keep away those tears and never make me sad,
Be my partner at the shores of resentment and loneliness
I promise you I will give you a new definition to happiness.
Hold my hand during the journey of life,
With our hands together, we will overcome every hurdle.
Will listen to your voice, cook for you, sing for you, write for you,
Will do everything to keep you happy.
Hurt me, tease me, demand from me, scold me, make me cry...
But in the end, give me a shoulder on which I can rely."

What made me even more curious was that I could see her staring furtive glances at me. But the meeting of our eyes didn't last for more than a second. I liked it. Whether she enjoyed the silent conversation or not between us or not- is still a question mark for me.
To be continued.....

Welcome to Hell- Ch I

It is going to be an outburst of pent-up feelings, strictly sub-rosa, which might indicate that I am in non-compos mentis. Those who are on the look out for masala romance and chest-thumping statements can please get off the train right now. I don’t have the power to criticize anyone nor do I have the guts to do any such formidable offence. These are just my own perceptions. So, please bear with me!!

Well then, to begin with,
The Nokia tone set as an alarm begins to ring. 1,2,3 reminders soon join the bandwagon. I get up the bed- infuriated to the hilt. Partly because of the disturbed sleep (by the way, I did not sleep for forty two hours at a stretch) and partly because I had a nightmare. Now, to be frank, such night mares are very common- at least for me. Anyways, we will come back to the topic lest you lose your interest in this crap. Extremely sorry, for I've a restless mind that hops from one topic to another till I've lost entirely what the topic of discussion actually was. So, please don’t get irritated and be patient with my slight deviations. So Folks, if your brain is not as dim as the electric bulb that struggles to illuminate my room due to lack of adequate voltage, you all might be smart enough to anticipate the reason of this arduous activity.
Well, I am here to share few of my experiences (depends whichever school of thought you belong to) in a company called "Hell". It was 25th of August and was supposed to be the first day of Pre-Process Training in the company. As it was my first day in the organization, I was pretty nervous and at the same time pretty enthusiastic. No, it was not because I was I was happy- not at all. It was solely because of the fact that I thought as if Uncle Fate (read"Mr.Destiny" or "Uncle God") had opened up new vistas for me to get a good-looking, simple girl, of my type. (Well, please do not jump over and panic, we will come to that very soon).
After taking bath consecutively twice (once with cold water followed by my favorite bodyspray), there I was, looking as fresh as ever. Put on formals (as I did not have any option), I took a glance at the mirror. Uffah!! bad hair, messy pimples, ugly scar marks entirely covering my face, dark skin, and to top the list- a ninety kg globe with a family-pack tummy- I was soon lost in my own thoughts. Wow! I had everything that is been looked down upon by so-called beautiful girls. No good looking girl will even see me- I had almost lost before the game even began. Oh God! why didn't you make me handsome?- I cried to myself. Anyways, not wasting much time, I left my home for the office.
The "first day" (whether it is in a school or college or job) is always memorable and I, being a human being is no exception. The training was to be scheduled to be in some hi-fi tech park inundated with the best infrastructure the present technology could provide. The training had to be conducted at the fifth floor- Training Room Number 5. I reached the venue well ahead of time only to find myself alone. Very soon, I could see guys entering the room one after another. Well, I wont give a detailed description of all the characters and consume voluminous printing-space thereby making your reading a tiresome experience. However, I will definitely make sure to introduce the main characters of our story. So, please tie your seat belts since we are all set to embark for the exciting journey of my tenure in Hell.
There were 20 people in the batch which included one trainer and 19 trainees like us. Knock! Knock! entered our trainer- "Raj". He was dressed in an off-white shirt and black trousers and had a so-called french beard. It wasn't difficult to assume that he was a fairly handsome guy in his late twenties. He had an infectious smile on his face which made him an amicable person. As soon as he started speaking, I felt as if I was an alien to this planet. He had an altogether different "ACCENT" which, according to me, was a herculian task to emulate. I thought to myself- "Where am I? What am I doing here? Will I ever be able to cope up with it? Am I the only person who has been gifted with this particular inability of effective communication?"- these questions flummoxed   me. Soon as I was proved wrong as I heard other guys giving their self introduction. (Thank God, I wasn't the only one- I thought to myself)
Here we go! This was a good chance to know my colleagues and yes- fix my target. (I hope you know what I mean). On the extreme left was a beautiful girl. Oops - really sorry. The word "beautiful" would be an understatement for her. She was gorgeous. To put in other words, she looked like as if an Angel had descended on Earth. With a dark printed kurti and denim blue jeans, sans any make-up--- I could rightly say that she looked extremely beautiful. Her name was "Kuhu"and after her formal introduction I could conclude that she was from Delhi. Great!! I thought to myself- before even giving it a second thought. Though she was from a city like Delhi, she didn't seem like having smitten by the so-called "Attitude" bug. She seemed to be shy and more of an introvert kind of persona.
Next to her, there was this good looking girl who had a thirty-two all out smile. In a few minutes, I learnt that her name was "Sanjana" and she  belonged to God's own country- Kerala. She was of a thin stature, donned in a simple salwar-kameez. She talked in a voice that was only audible to the person next to her and the trainer Raj.(Ever since I can remember, I had always been a back-bencher, and that day was no exception. So could not pay much attention to her words.)
Next to her- was a girl with an athletic physique.We came to know that her name was "Mahi". Her complexion was haze and it seemed as if she was sleep-deprived. I could hear from her conversation that she was from Ooty. She had her hair cut so that it reached exactly up to her neck- No make up, no lip gloss. But still she managed to look great. Perhaps it was her simplicity that made me close to her.A few times I noticed her fiddling with her hair, removing the hair clip and then clipping it . But frankly speaking, I still do not know why- she looked incredibly beautiful when she had her hair unclipped.For a nano second, I thought like insisting her to let her hair unclipped-- but alas! those were only wishes. I  did n't want to be slapped on the first day of the training! (Ah! I thought to myself. Its going to be great. A girl from Mumbai, another from Kerala followed by the one from Ooty. Which among these is the best place to visit with my future girl-friend?) Soon, I was disturbed from my thoughts by the trainer.
Then there was a sweet little girl with big eyes. When I say " big", I really mean it. Her name was"Shristi". She seemed to be a fun-loving girl with a contagious smile. She was short in stature, thin as a stick, wheatish complexion, but there was something in her which was unique- her innocence. She seemed to have the naturalness and simplicity of a child. Dressed in light yellow salwar-kameez and brown sandals, she looked great. I could feel an instant touch of proximity with her. Why was it ?(I still do not know)
I could not miss the girl who was sitting close to me. I raised my head forgetting all the shyness for a nanosecond- only to have a glance at her. She had a sweet voice (later, I came to know that she was a trained singer). She had other striking features too- which made her quite unique in our batch. She had thick, ruffled hair- which was denser than the equatorial rain forests. She had a great sense of humor, which, by then, I was pretty sure of- because of the time to time empathetic giggles, chuckles, or laughter (please do not pay heed to my grammar). Her name was "Mrinal". She was a pretty talented persona. Upon being asked about her hobbies, she told that she knew singing, dancing, painting et al. It seemed as if our trainer Raj was really impressed with our batch- because all of the personalities I mentioned above, were Talented in one or the other way. Good Lord! I said to myself. What am I going to say about my hobbies. I am after all a good-for-nothing chap. Alas! if I could have been good at something, I could have impressed someone in this training room- I thought to myself.
Raj saw me and gave me a mischievous grin. Whether he read my mind or sensed it from my body language is still a conundrum for me. Hold on folks: Let me give you a brief introduction about Raj. He was our trainer in Hell (well, that is a kind of formal introduction). Coming to the personal front, he was an extremely versatile, down-to-earth human being. He had a contagious smile (as I had already mentioned earlier), was a very good mind-reader- rather a keen observer. Took less than a few minutes to scan you in and out and to top the list- he was a hard-core optimist. He had a solution to every problem you encounter (be it professional or personal). Hats off Raj. Proud to be your trainee.(Sorry folks, for we deviated from our topic of discussion.)
Anyways, by then, I had realized that Shristi and Mrinal  had already become good friends. Perhaps, they had many similarities- both of them were committed (read- "were already booked in advance by their respective boyfriends), both of them were from the same educational background, and to top the list- both of them were a bunch of laughter therapy in high dozes. Every now and then, anyone could find them cracking jokes and madly laughing at silly little things. 
The next one in the queue was "Saswati". She was the one who was sitting the very next to me. She had a charming outlook and seemed to be very friendly. A confident sounding voice with an eagerness to learn with a straight-forward attitude was enough to draw me an inch closer to her. She was very friendly with me right on the first day of the training itself. Moreover, she was really safe, since she was married to the person whom she loved more than her life. Still do not know why, but, I could sense a good friend and an innocent, cute heart in her as soon as she began with her words.
I am sorry friends. How the hell did I miss it? I did not introduce you all to a very special person in our batch. Yes, you got it right. Her name was"Richa". She had a great sense of humor- but her attitude was pretty different (a little brazen) from the rest of the group. She was a chess-champion (be aware- people who are good at chess are very tactful and play really safe). However, she was stark opposite. She was extremely friendly, cracked jokes every now and then, and by then, had managed to grab the attention of the entire batch (in general) and Raj and me (in particular) because of her smartness and fun-loving nature. She was amicable to the core and within a few minutes had made (or rather created a Gang- Richa's gang)- which comprised of John, Sandy and Ryan, apart from her.
On being asked to give a formal introduction- I found all the members of her gang- almost of the same wavelength of her. "John" seemed to be quite (but was like quick sand). The guys sitting next to John were having a hard time suppressing their laughter. Once characteristic feature that moved me an inch closer to John was that- he was food-loving. I wont dare to call him a gourmet or gourmand (please excuse my vocabulary), but it seemed as if he had greatly developed and refined taste-buds as of mine. He had a typical accent (which sounded stylish and fascinating to me)--- in the end, I could say that- I felt - Alas! I could speak like him. Even Raj was equally excited after speaking with John.
Next to him was the DJ of our batch- "Sandy". Watching him closely from the other end of the training room, I could sense that he was a man of uncontrollable laughter- with perhaps the best sense of humor. By then, he had made fun of almost every individual present in the class.He was a happy-go-lucky kinda boy who seemed to be enjoying the training to the hilt. He was successful enough to showcase his funny bone- and made the entire batch burst into laughter by his incomparable sense of humor. Ten of ten Sandy, Get going.
Sitting at close proximity to him was "Ryan". He was a Manglorian who recently completed his engineering degree from a very reputed college. (What is this guy doing in Hell?- I thought to myself). But, to give a bit of my mind, he was exceptionally different-- yes- you heard it right-- different from all others in our batch. He had a get-up which I bet, is almost impossible to emulate. Messy hair, grown beard, a printed tee-shirt with a faded jeans and a blue-stripped sweater. Such was the outside of Ryan. It seemed as if he lived life (or rather preferred to) in his own terms. He did n't care staying in anyone's good book or bad book. Perhaps- that is called "Attitude"- I guess. He was a sport in real sense. Gifted with artistic fingers, I wondered, if he was born to be an artist. He had a magnetism in his art. It had just been a few hours our training had started, his note-pad was already inundated with pencil sketches of various characters (in reel and real life)- which is beyond the power of my adjectives to describe. But that did not deter him from having a blast with his close group of friends. Nice one Ryan! Get going.
Then, there was a lady who had been listening to every individual with great patience. Upon being asked by Raj, I came to know that her name was"Christi". I could literally sense maturity, strength and righteousness in her character. She was married and  it so seemed from her words that she loved her husband and her kids to the core. (well, its obvious- isn't it?). 
By now, I was finding the training really interesting-- simply because I was getting to know different individuals from different walks of life, from different fields, but all, at the same process. It was the turn for "Marc" now. (Well folks, let me confess that Marc is one of the funniest characters in this story, which in due course of time, you all will come to know). As of then, what I loved about Marc was that though he was well versed in literature ( he wrote a couple of short stories and plays), there wasn't a scintilla of Ego in him. That was the best part. He had the capability to tickle your funny bone and make you burst into laughter- even at things, which had nothing to be laughed at. This was evident from his body language. I, somehow, liked him the moment I saw him. A friendly, humorous person he was- known for some weird and zany concepts- that drew everyone an inch closer to him.
It seemed as if Raj wasn't done with his formal intros yet. The next person in the pipeline was"Snehali". She came from engineering background (sorry, we are n't here to discuss the academic potentials). But yes, she had the million dollar smile for which I fell an inch close to her the instant I saw her. To add it, she was an accomplished virtuoso ( a trained classical dancer). Te best part about her nature was her attitude. I still wonder what made her so modest and down-to-earth. By that time, I had seen her quite number of times, looking at me. And every time she saw me, she smiled. God!! that made me crazy. I like girls who wear a smile on their face.
The next person was a sweet girl (very talkative- God! did I say that?). Her name was "Mary". She was a girl who seemed to be fun-loving and by then, had developed a strong Fevicol bond ( or rather "Ionic Bond" in the language of chemistry) with Shristi and Mrinal. It seemed as if three of them were having a ball. The funniest part was - upon being asked which guy did she like in our batch and why-- she replied in a single breathe- "Ryan's name". The batch (including Raj) burst into laughter and within a split second, it grew into a collective shudder. (No offence Ryan and Mary- if you ever read this crap--- You guys know me- right?)
So... that was it. There were a few extra participants though. Well, due to security reasons, can't dare to list their names here. But I will surely talk about them in the times to come, or whenever the exigencies of the situation demands. Anyways, altogether it was a great thing to meet and interact with new friends (sorry- "colleagues"- please excuse my grammar)....................... to be continued.

Chaos of mind

Why is that I am being drawn to your eyes like a honey bee to its nectar?
Why do I feel a sense of great relief when I see you?
Why do I feel your absence?
Why do I long to see you?
Why does your smile makes me feel happy for you?
Why do I pray for your well-being?
When you are not with me, why do I feel as if something in me is missing?
On the contrary, when you are with me, why can't I look straight into your eyes?
Why do I feel shy when you stare at me?
Why can't I stare at you for hours together?
Why do I want to be with you for ever?
You aren't the most beautiful girl- but still- why do I find you beautiful?
Why do I find you attractive even with your specs?
Why is that I find even your yawning a visual delight?
Why is that I don't want to take my eyes away from you?
Why do I always pray for your happiness- for your success in  life?
Why do I want to know you well- your likes, your dislikes,your plans- just everything about you?
Its a great feeling.... but as a matter of fact- it hurts. It really does.
One should never build castles in the air.
One should never dream of things which are not possible.
 I know that this won't last long, it won't take me anywhere.
Things never turn out the way they are expected.
Life is a tortuous mountain trail full of twists and turns.
I do not want to be fooled again- mirage can never be a reality.
But---- I am helpless- at least, as of now.
You aren't mine, you can never be mine. That's the truth.
But there is one more truth. I can never you snatch from someone.
Vexed I am of passions of difference.
Confused I am at times. Can I ever make up the leeway?
I feel as if I am caught in a whirlpool of emotions.
I already had my quota of pains- at least for this birth.
My brain is f***** up, my hopes have been shattered,
My friends and foes have no idea what I am going through
My unsecured future poses as the biggest obstacle.
I need a couple of years, but by then, you wont be there with me.
I am aware of your constraints too.
There is a pandemonium of emotions in toto andits a hard to dwell here sans losing the peace of mind.
Believe me, its not happening.
And its never going to happen.
But one thing for sure- very soon- I will be free from this unusual feeling.
Till then, I have to keep my fingers crossed.