Window seat- Memories revisited.

No doubt- whichever school of thought you belong to, whichever genre of music you follow, whatever age you might be, whatever profession you are in---there is one phenomena that holds "true"- While you are travelling in a bus, the window seat always holds a special importance. Tired and exhausted with my monotonous life, I decided to take a break. Took a comp-off on Friday so that I had three days of leave with me. Perhaps, thought that this three day gap will rejuvenate my drooping spirits and I could free myself from the present humdrum. Not even giving it a second thought, I decided to visit Mangalore- the port city of Karnataka.

As I boarded the Volvo bus, I could sense that there was a potpourri of excitement, nervousness, anticipation and fear. It was altogether a medley of several feelings and to give a bit of my mind, I 'ld say that even I wasn't sure what it actually was. As soon as the bus left Majestic Bus Terminus and touched the Tumkur Road, I could feel a churning in my stomach. A sense of dizziness overpowered me, and within a nanosecond- a plethora of stuffs flooded my brain. Took a few sips of water and then, without even wasting any time, decided to sleep. But, it seemed as if sleep had turned its back towards me. After a few futile attempts, I decided not to go for sleep. Pulled off the curtains, and looked through the window to divert my mind. The constant traffic on the roads, the so-called fast life of the city, the big apartments, the tea-stalls... everything I saw on the road, made me feel nostalgic. A few minutes passed in a jiffy and soon I was engrossed in a plethora of thoughts.

My evergreen, effervescent school days sans any tensions or bitter feelings for anyone, the naughtiness in me that was within me (back then), my close friends, the petty quarrels over something absolutely unimportant, my board exams, the creeping tension over my spine before the results were announced, the choice of opting for science, my first day in college, bunking classes, eat-outs at the college canteen and roadside tthellas, my first crush, the clandestine meetings (read- "rendezvous"), the tension gradually building in my mind to have a successful academic career, losing my dearest mom, landing on a professional college, indulging in ragging, tasting beer and sutta for the first time, meeting people (making friends) from different parts of India, learning a new language, exploring Bangalore, visiting PVR and INOX for the first time, getting backlogs in semester exams, participating in college-level competitions, the fire within to impress girls and getting a girl-friend ( be the face of the college), arguments with my friends at times, settling down disputes, the frequent night-outs during exams consuming limitless quantity of caffeine and cigarettes, placements, passing off, losing friends, landing on a job, meeting new people, learning and getting used to so-called "corporate fundas".... everything passed my head and somehow, I wasn't feeling comfortable. God!! I cried- I was in a dire need of a peaceful sleep; I had already said that sleep had probably turned its back towards me.

Glanced at my watch. It was a little past midnight and I could literally feel the hunger pangs. "Jesus! its been three hours since I have been in the bus"- I thought to myself.. How fast did the time go? I felt as if few minutes prior I was looking outside the window, and now, its almost three hours, I've been lost in my thoughts. ( Believe me, I felt as if someone did some kind of black magic on me). Soon, I was interrupted from my thoughts, when the bus came to a screeching halt at Hassan.

Few minutes later, as the bus gained momentum, once again, I was lost in my thoughts.Nay! this time, it was n't about my past actions but.... finding answers to a hoard of questions. It was like some hard core intellectuals call it as "introspection" and "retrospection". Why did I succumb to injuries and heart-breaking tumults of life- what made me realize the unrealistic melodrama of solitary confinement? Why could n't I confess my feelings? Why did I let my ego overpower me? Why did I fret over trivial issues with my near and dear ones? What made me so adamant at times? Why couldn't I accept defeat (read- "failure")? What was it lacking for which I couldn't be happy? Was n't I capable enough to be accepted- to be loved? Why was so much of treachery? Why so many cynical people around? Why was I unable to wear that smile on my face, which was once upon a time a mere habit of mine? ..... Endless list of questions struck my head till I got infuriated.


Perhaps, the window had got tired of me- answering to my quest of questions! Not knowing what to do and not getting any satisfactory answers, I closed my eyes for a few minutes, hoping to get rid of these awful situation. But, Uncle Fate was in no mood to accept defeat. Took a few deep breaths, looked outside the window, not being quite sure what exactly was I missing. 


"COMPROMISE"- came the answer. In a nanosecond, I opened my eyes. Wasn't quite sure whether I was a namby-pamby or was seriously hurt. Some philosophers call it as the "inner conscience". So, after all, I was listening to my conscience- my soul. I closed my eyes, clenched my teeth with all my might- to concentrate to the words of my soul. Whispered my conscience -" Change is the unchanged thing of this changing world. The key word is "Compromise". You need to adjust to the situations, and always need to remember that - this is nothing but a phase of life. nothing is permanent in this world. And as the time passes, situations will change. And never-ever think that all these untoward things happen only to you. It does happen to everyone around you, at one or the other stages of his/her life. So, be as you are. Its useless lamenting over the past- since it can never be changed.And one more important thing- Relations are built over years but sometimes, even the closest can fall apart because of a small misunderstanding. So, why not, in retrospect, remember the good times, get over the grudge and forgive the person we are mad at?


How very true indeed!! The conductor announced that we had reached Mangalore KSRTC Bus Terminus. Before alighting from the bus, I took one more look at my window and thanked it. Perhaps, it was simply a medium that God had chosen to make me learn very important lessons in life!!